A letter to my daughter,
Today was a day where I wanted nothing to do with my appearance. I woke up late, quickly brushed my teeth and pulled up my hair into a ponytail. No time for make-up, no time to do more then a quick wipe of my face with a cloth. I looked frumpy, un-kept, tired and I felt fat.
Later in the day I went to take a picture of you, my beautiful daughter, doing something cute and you ran from me, hiding your face. At first I was frustrated, annoyed a bit that I could never seem to get a photo of you looking at the camera unless it was a candid shot.
Then it dawned on me. You react the same way I react.
Before getting pregnant with you, I worked my tush off to lose quite a bit of weight, after you came into our lives I gained back every.single.pound I had lost. I went from being comfortable in my skin to suddenly hiding and I realized I was instilling the same beliefs into you. I do not regret a single pound, a single stretch mark or any of the bags that seem to show up under my eyes on the long nights. Not even a little bit. For every mark and sleepless night brought me you.
Your reaction made me sad.
We are all beautiful. Every bump, every pound, every misplaced hair and smudged make up. There is a story behind every body, every sleepless night and every day where we run ourselves ragged.
You are beautiful, *I* am beautiful.
And I’m sorry that I ever showed you that I don’t always feel that way. It’s okay to not be perfect, to have a day where you feel like sweat pants and scrunchies are your comfort, but don’t let those days ever make you miss a chance to capture a memory.
Every single minute is precious, every moment can be gone in a second. I think back to baby Livvy and wish I had more people take photos OF US instead of always being behind the camera.
I promise that is going to change.